The author begins with a playful exploration of hypothetical choices, highlighting the amusement derived from considering absurd scenarios. They present a series of examples, ranging from sticking one’s toes over a cliff for a sum of money to choosing between a perpetual beer-only diet or complete alcohol abstinence. The author expresses a particular disdain for those who refuse to engage in such imaginative exercises, opting out with a polite decline rather than embracing the hypothetical. This sets the stage for the introduction of a more complex dilemma.
The central hypothetical scenario involves a Faustian bargain: receiving a substantial sum of money, 100 million kronor, in exchange for being perpetually pursued by a venomous snail. The catch is that even the slightest touch from this slow-moving assassin results in instant death. The snail’s relentless pursuit, coupled with the uncertainty of its whereabouts, adds a layer of psychological suspense to the dilemma. The author relishes the intricate nature of this thought experiment, analyzing the constant vigilance required to evade the deadly gastropod. They ponder the trade-off between immense wealth and the ever-present threat of imminent demise, acknowledging the inherent anxiety of knowing the snail is always lurking, patiently awaiting its opportunity.
The author further develops the analogy by comparing the snail’s persistence to the IRA’s failed assassination attempt on Margaret Thatcher, paraphrasing their sentiment of needing only one successful strike while the target must constantly avoid misfortune. This comparison underscores the imbalance of power dynamics and the psychological toll of being perpetually hunted. The hypothetical threat transforms from a mere thought experiment into a reflection on the precariousness of life.
A shift in perspective occurs when the author draws a parallel between the relentless snail and the inevitability of mortality. They argue that everyone is, in a sense, already being pursued by a metaphorical ”killer snail” – a representation of death’s unwavering approach. This ”snail” takes on various forms: sudden heart attacks, unforeseen accidents, or the creeping advance of disease. These unpredictable and unavoidable threats mirror the constant danger posed by the hypothetical snail, highlighting the inherent fragility of human existence.
By reframing the scenario in this light, the author concludes that the 100 million kronor become less of a risky bargain and more of a bonus in the face of inevitable mortality. The initial fear and uncertainty give way to a sense of acceptance. If death is unavoidable, why not enjoy the windfall while one can? This realization allows the author to embrace the offer, even finding humor in requesting a celebratory beer to accompany their newfound fortune. The seemingly absurd hypothetical ultimately serves as a philosophical exploration of life, death, and the choices we make in the face of uncertainty.
The author’s concluding remark about wanting a beer with the 100 million kronor brings the piece full circle, linking back to the initial lighthearted discussion about hypothetical choices. This casual closing statement reinforces the author’s playful approach to serious subjects and underscores the underlying theme of embracing life’s uncertainties, both large and small, with a touch of humor and a dash of fatalism. The hypothetical scenario, initially presented as a thought-provoking game, becomes a vehicle for contemplating the human condition and our relationship with the unknown, ultimately leading to a more nuanced appreciation for the present moment.
