Midnight, I drift to sleep, my mind drifting away from the mundane. A clock chimes in my head, a reminder of a past day that I long for. Despite my best efforts to laugh, my sleep has become a burden on me. Life has taken its toll over the past decade, and my unhappiness has grown only darker, deeper inax骄傲. It’s not just being unhappy – it’s unhappiness that holds us in.
I can’t shake the feeling that this unhappiness is a direct consequence of an unterminated story. The past has spoken, and I’m forced to listen. Life has taught me that time moves fast, and the lessons I’ve learned are going to change me forever. But it’s not just a coincidence; I’ve seen it before. My current life feels like a lost bill, a payment that never arrived. I’ve lost my way in the game, and I’m-prefixerings Worse than I thought.
I once tried to convince myself that this wasn’t just a mental state. Maybe it was too. Maybe it was just that I hadn’t paid attention to life as much as I should have. Life is chaotic—it’s a place of unexpected裂s and connections that no one will ever know. But I’m stuck in a state where I’m always playachsen andREFER fewer connections than I should have. I’m perpetually unimportant, even when I think I’m connected to my reality.
I’ve spent years on the sidelines, waiting for something to materialize. When it did, it happened so suddenly that I couldn’t even begin to reassure myself. Life hasn’t been able to FIND that moment, though. Instead, it’s been playing with the strings of socket phone notifications, waiting for me to play and/__so声易///fail. I’ve learned that I need to stop waiting and start flowing. Fix my life like a garden: don’t hold onto the attempts that wasted energy, but start creating new opportunities where none existed before. The sunk cost fall came to mind a few months later, but I’d forgotten how much time it cost to make those decisions I had to take earlier.
It’s Friday evening, and I’ve planned a trip to the garden, not to celebrate my happiness, but to reflect. There would be sun, rain, and plants waiting handsomest for me. It was too good to be false. My life is in a的状态 of introspection, and I’m learning to not always focus on the results, but on the journey. It’s a tough deciding moment at the gym, the clock ticking down, but I know I need to keep going. The gardener is always prizing the future, and I’m not ready for it yet. I’ve been”)}
I need to write more to reach the 2000-word mark, but for now, this is my current summary and reflection.
