Ira, a 35-year-old Ukrainian soldier, finds herself leading a reconnaissance platoon in the 72nd Mechanized Brigade, a stark contrast to her life before the war. Just a year and a half prior, she was enjoying a peaceful existence, working as a photographer and training to become a yoga instructor in Bali. The full-scale Russian invasion in February 2022 abruptly shattered this tranquility, compelling her to return to her homeland and enlist in the army. Her prior experience as a sniper, coupled with her unwavering patriotism, made her a valuable asset in the Ukrainian defense forces. The war transformed her, stripping away the vibrant colors of her life and leaving behind a monochrome existence, akin to an old silent film.
The horrors Ira witnessed during the early days of the war, especially in the besieged suburbs of Irpin and Bucha, continue to haunt her. The atrocities committed by Russian forces – the murdered children, the families shot in their cars while attempting to escape, the grieving mothers burying their offspring – etched themselves into her memory, leaving indelible scars. These experiences, so profoundly disturbing, have severed her ties with all the Russians she once knew, even those she considered friends. The shared experiences in Bali, the travels, conversations, and nights out now feel like a distant dream, irrevocably tainted by the brutal reality of the war. The two bloodstains on her green Nike hoodie, a memento from a recent Russian drone attack, serve as a constant reminder of the ongoing conflict and the sacrifices made by her comrades.
The recent attack forced Ira and her platoon to abandon their previous base and seek refuge in a damp, cold cellar near the Dnieper River. The attack, which targeted the delivery vehicle bringing supplies to the platoon, injured four of her men, one critically. Ira administered first aid, her hoodie stained with their blood, a stark reminder of the constant threat they face. The burned remnants of a rifle, lying on the table next to a plate of bread, further underscore the precarious nature of their existence. The evacuation, conducted under the cover of artillery fire, was fraught with danger, the drone attack lasting for four agonizing hours.
Despite the escalating violence and mounting casualties, Ira remains resolute, her determination fueled by a deep-seated hatred for the Russian invaders who have devastated her homeland and killed her friends. This hatred has eclipsed any lingering connection to her past in Moscow, where she once lived and worked in the financial sector. The annexation of Crimea in 2014 had already strained her relationships with some of her Russian friends, but the full-scale invasion completely severed those ties. Ira believes that in the face of such aggression, neutrality is not an option; one must choose a side.
While Ira embraces her role as a soldier, the realities of war are far removed from the romanticized image she once held. The heroic depictions in films and books failed to capture the relentless fear, the profound loss, and the constant threat of death. The war has taken a heavy toll, not just on Ira but on the entire nation. Ukraine is facing a shortage of soldiers, and the increasing reliance on female recruits, while welcomed by Ira, highlights the devastating impact of the conflict. While acknowledging the physical limitations some women may face in handling heavy weaponry, Ira firmly believes that women excel in other areas, such as operating drone jamming equipment and precision shooting, where their calmness and meticulous attention to detail prove invaluable.
The war has reshaped Ira’s life in ways she could never have imagined. The once vibrant and joyful woman now struggles to find color in a world rendered bleak by conflict. She relies on her training, her camaraderie with fellow soldiers, and her unwavering commitment to defending her country. While she appreciates the support from international allies, particularly the United States, Ira understands that Ukraine’s destiny ultimately rests in its own hands. She yearns for peace, for a return to the colorful life she once knew, but for now, she remains steadfast in her duty, a warrior in a war that has irrevocably changed her and her nation. The constant threat of Russian drones, the bloodstains on her clothes, and the burned remnants of weapons serve as stark reminders of the ongoing fight for survival and the enduring spirit of a nation under siege.
